


nightmare [panic]

by NerdsbianHokie



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Panic Attacks, but they get back together, features the break-up, nightmates, pov and tense change between chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2019-09-24 00:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17090627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdsbianHokie/pseuds/NerdsbianHokie
Summary: The panic doesn't go away.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I made [this](http://nerdsbianhokie.tumblr.com/post/181213175338/dont-think-about-maggie-sawyer-still-having) post on tumblr a few days ago and it hasn't left my mind, so, have a mini fic.

Maggie’s eyes snapped open, cold sweat clinging to her skin, soaking the sheets under her, the blankets over her.

She gasped in, air thick, chest heavy. She reached out, slowly, dragging her hand across the sheet until she found the dip of the mattress meeting Alex’s side.

The warmth of Alex’s skin - exposed as her shirt rose in her sleep - seeped up her fingers, arm, settled into her chest.

Alex was alive.

Alive and well and sleeping next to her, not drowning in a box.

Maggie shivered, the cold sweat sucking all but Alex’s heat from her, the wet of it pulling her back to that warehouse, to kneeling next to Alex’s limp body, to the long seconds before Alex coughed and breathed and lived.

She slipped out of the bed, shivered again as goosebumps rose up her arms. She pulled off her wet clothes, grabbed a pair of sweats and one of Alex’s flannels.

She was only in the bathroom for a few minutes, but Alex was in the kitchen when she came out. Alex watched her cross the apartment, pulled her into a hug once she was close enough.

Maggie took a deep breath, settled into Alex’s arms, into Alex’s warmth.

“Nightmare?” Alex’s voice was soft, settled over her panic.

“I’m sorry,” Maggie murmured.

Alex pulled back enough to brush Maggie’s hair back. “Why’re you sorry?”

Maggie shook her head, pressed back into Alex, into the safety and warmth of her arms.

“He hurt all of us,” Alex whispered. “If it had been you? I’d be having nightmares too.”

-o-

Maggie’s clothes clung to her skin, soaked by her sweat. She gasped for breath, reaching across the bed to find it empty.

Her heart sped up. The pounding in her ears kicked up a notch, nearly vibrating.

She surged up, threw the blankets back.

The bed was empty.

Alex wasn’t there.

Bubbles and timers and grainy video feed.

He had her. He still had her.

Maggie clambered out of bed, stumbling as she caught the corner of a blanket that had fallen to the floor. She slammed into the wall, flicked on the light and…

Her apartment.

That Alex had never been inside.

Because they had broken up.

Maggie fell back against the wall. She slid to the floor, hugged her knees to her chest.

Alex was okay.

Alex was okay.

Even if she wasn’t there, even if Maggie hadn’t been enough for her, Alex was okay and alive and alive.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I never wrote the final part of this, so I sat down and did that today  
> Unedited, un-beta'd  
> It isn't even in the same tense or pov as the first chapter, but this was how it felt right and I figure, it's my fic, I can do what I want, also that it's better than just leaving it unfinished forever?

You set your helmet on the table, toss your keys in the bowl. Your socks muffled your footsteps on the hardwood floor as you cross the apartment.

It’s a small space, but nice. Bonsai’s and other plants sit in the small window. An entertainment system built of dark wood covers most of a wall, the TV small but the shelves filled.

A candle flickers on the kitchen counter, the wax all turned to liquid. Your eyes flick to the bedroom door in concern.

She never leaves a candle lit.

You drape your jacket over the back of the couch as you pass it on your way to the kitchen. You blow the candle out, the light from the window just barely catching the smoke.

Your fingers work their way down the buttons of your shirt as you walk to the bedroom. You pull the shirt off and drop it in the hamper just inside the door.

And freeze.

Sobs push into the silence of the room.

You unbutton your jeans, step out of them as you approach the bed. You kneel next to the slightly shaking lump of blankets that are your girlfriend. You slowly rest a hand where you think her shoulder is.

“Maggie?”

The sobs silence.

Maggie goes still, the stillness of a person actively trying to not move.

“Are you okay?”

A moment of pause.

Another moment.

Fingers appear at the edge of the blanket, pull enough to reveal dark eyes.

“Alex?”

“It’s me.”

Maggie shifts, scoots from the edge of the bed, grabs your hand to pull you with.

You follow, sliding under the covers.

She curls into you, arm sliding around your waist, under your shirt. Her legs tangle with yours. She presses her face into you and starts to cry again.

She’s covered in sweat.

You know what that means, but you let her cry. You just hold her and let her cry and hold the silence even after she cries herself out.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles, words warm through your shirt.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you ask.

She sniffles. Her fingers twist in your shirt. “The nightmares never stopped.”

You squeeze her just a little tighter. You keep your voice low. “From Melvern?”

She nods, tries to press further into you.

You, however, don’t press her any further, just hold her.

You will, one day, ask about how she managed the nightmares, the panic, while you were broken up.

You will, for the rest of your life, feel that guilt.

But you will, for the rest of your life, do your best to be there when she wakes, even once the nightmares finally pass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are love, y'all  
> I do very much appreciate the comments on the first chapter, they all meant so much to me

**Author's Note:**

> There is a third part planned, I just don't have the time rn, and am not sure when I'll get to it, so I'll be posting that as a second chapter when it happens.


End file.
